Grief circles
As part of my work as a Death Doula, I hold regular grief spaces in my local community. These events are intended as opportunities for people to come with their sorrow, their stories of loss, their deeply held sadness and grief, to find community, kindness, integration and a sense of being held in Love.
A Grief Circle Ceremony is a designated space where people can share their stories of loss and be supported. There is always a clear beginning, middle, and end, providing a sense of containment and support. The ceremony is offered in such a way that allows, I hope, for a sense of connection with something greater without dictating what that might be. People come with their sorrow, their deeply held sadness and grief, and find community, kindness, integration and a sense of being held in Love.
To feel safe enough to be witnessed in our sorrow is a precious thing. There is something about being witnessed that is transformative. I believe that humans need each other, we are not designed to grieve alone. We need circles.
Sunshine and beech trees - such beauty in nature.
There is always a warm welcome. We come together and sit, talk a bit about the nature of grief and about important things like confidentiality. I aim to create a “brave space” - I love this term. The notion of a “safe” space is challenging as it is so relative as to how safe anyone is or feels they are. And we all stay responsible for ourselves in the circle. To feel safe enough and brave enough to be vulnerable, and to recognise our vulnerability as something of value and beauty, something that can serve us and others.
Everyone is invited to share, but nothing is compulsory. We listen, we allow grief to be felt and expressed, we support each other with our listening and our presence. Being present to ourselves and others is a nourishing practice. It’s also a rare experience in our culture.
We use elements of ritual, movement, rhythm, sound - all in very simple and gentle formation, and always by invitation. Often stillness and silence is part of the experience. We are explorers together in this territory of grief. All emotions and expressions are welcome, within the boundaries of taking care of ourselves and each other.
Towards the end of the circle there is time for integration, rest, soothing and nourishment. So important.
Through this practice of grieving together, often what we find is gratitude. When grief is expressed, held, witnessed in a healthy and loving way, we sense into it’s true nature. Grief is so much about love and connection. Grief itself is the medicine which supports us and brings us through.
